GAME OF THRONES: VANITY

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Quick summary: rape behind the closed doors, attempted rape, two deaths, one possible death, one consensual sex, one first timer and of course beeeewbs *read it in the voice of the Honest Trailers guy*.

With all this “controversy” we didn’t even have time to say the proper goodbye from the character that was with us since first season…not to mention Thorne’s idiotic remark during his funeral. Give some respect to the only good Targaryen you have ever got to chance to meet (the other being his brother Egg you probably wondered about as he mumbled his name on the way to the Night’s Watch grave) and the only person ever to refuse the throne that was given to him. Rest in peace Maester Aemon.

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Best of the episode:

1) High Sparrow telling Ollena to fuck off with her money.

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2) Lancel telling Cersei to fuck off.

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3) Stannis telling Mel to just get out and fuck off.

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4) Sam telling the rapists he calls “brothers” to fuck off.

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5) Ghost getting everyone to fuck off.

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Worst of the episode:

-Blasphemy in Dorne. Get Bronn out of there and lose the damn key.

-Tyrion’s poor attempt at slapstick

-Jorah Mormont everything.

-Thorne’s lack of manner and disrespect of Maester Aemon.

-Jaime’s uselessness. He should’ve head North of the Wall and hang out in the cave of doom with Bran and Mister Miyagi until the end of days. You know, cripples, bastards and broken things.

-Smug face of Daenerys Targaryen.

-Anticlimactic introduction of mortal enemies. Yes, I am talking about Targaryens and Lannisters.

-Did I say Jorah?

* Awkward silence *

Soooo…this is how the most beautiful woman in the world looks like…errrr. Ok.

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Best quote:

Ollena: “You should have the decency to stand when you speak to a lady.”

High Sparrow: “You should have the decency to kneel before the Gods.”

Ollena: “Don’t spar with me little fellow.”

Silence…

High Sparrow: “For me it’s the knees. You?”

Ollena: “Hips.”

Longer text is coming tomorrow….Stay tuned.

5/10

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